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Inama utari uzi ku mibonano mpuzabitsina

Ese imibonano mpuzabitsina ishinishije ishobora kumara igihe kingana iki?

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Ese koko byaba bisaba igihe kire kire cyane kugirango abatera urubariro bishime? Mu kinyamakuru Science Daily cyasohotse kuwa 2 Mata mu 2008, kerekanye ko usanga abantu benshi hirya no hino ku isi bumva ko ngo igikorwa cy’imibonano cyagenze neza ari ikimara igihe kirekire. Nyamara abashakashatsi bo ngo baba barakoze ubushakashatsi kuri iyi ngingo maze baza kwerekana ko ngo igikorwa cyo gutera urubariro gishimishije ngo cyaba kimara hagati y’iminota 3 na 13!
Ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ibi bwakorewe ku banyamerika hamwe n’abanyacanada. Aba bashakashatsi rero barimo Eric Corty hamwe na Jenay Guardiani bakoreye ubushakashatsi ku bantu 50 bagize association yitwa Society for SKS Therapy and Research. Aba bantu rero ngo barimo aba pshychologists, aba physicians, aba social workers, aba theurapists barebana n’iby’abashakanye n’imiryango yabo hamwe n’abaforomo n’abaforomokazi. Aba bantu rero bakoreweho ubushakashatsi kugirango hamenyekane igihe cyashimisha mu gukora imibonano, ni abantu bagiye babonana kenshi cyane n’abantu bafite ibibazo by’urubariro, ndetse bakanagerageza kubagira inama. Nibo rero bakoreweho ubushakashatsi, maze basubiza ko igihe kiza ari hagati y’iminota 3 na 13. Iyi minota aba bantu batanga ariko, ntabwo ibariyemo igihe umugabo aba agomba kumara ategura umugore we. Oya.
Ahubwo bo bavugaga gutangirana n’igihe igitsina gabo kimaze kwinjira, kugeza igihe umugabo azasohorera. Ni uko bati, ibyiza bishimisha ni uko ibyo byamara hagati y’iminota 3 na 13. Ibi byemejwe n’abantu 35 kuri ba bandi 50 babajijwe, cyangwa se, 68%. Mu gusubiza rero, bavuze ko ngo burya kuva ku minota 3 kugera kuri 7 igitsina gabo cyamaze kuboneza mu gitsina gore, ngo iyo minota iba ihagije, umugabo uyimaze yasohora nta kibazo. Ariko kandi ngo iyifuzwa na benshi ngo ko aricyo gihe icyo gikorwa cyamara, ngo ni iminota iri hagati ya 7 na 13. Mu gihe iyo umugabo amaze kwinjira hashira umunota umwe gusa cyangwa ibiri agahita asohora, ngo rwose aba akabije kumara igihe kigufi cyane!!! Ariko nanone ngo iyo arengeje ya minota 13 agakomeza, kuzageza no ku minota nka 30, ngo uwo we rwose aba yakabije, cyangwa se aba yarambiranye.
Ibi rero abantu ntibabifata kimwe, bitewe naho bakuriye, imyumvire ya sosiyete bakuriyemo. Gusa ngo ikibabaje ni uko usanga sosiyete zo muri iyi minsi zisigaye zifite imyumvire y’uko umugabo ufite igitsina kinini, ukora cyane kandi agatinda ku buryo ndetse imibonano yakorwa ijoro ryose, ngo ibyo bumva aribyo byiza cyane kuri ubu!
Nubwo nakubwiraga ariko ko ngo igikurwa kifuzwa cyamara iminota hagati ya 7 n’i 10, reka nkwibutse ko ibi ari iby’ubushakashatsi bwakozwe n’abantu bakunda guhura n’abafite ibibazo byo gutera urubariro bavuze. Naho abantu basanzwe rero bo ku giti cyabo, bo ngo bumva ko nibura iyo umugabo amaze kugerayo, ngo yakagombye kumara nibura iminota 30 atararangiza!
Nk’uko umwe muri abo bashakashatsi akomeza abitangaza, Eric Corty, ngo uku kwishyiramo ko imibonano myiza ari imaze igihe kirekire cyane, ha handi umugore cyangwa se n’umugabo baba bategereje ko nibura bamara iyo minota 30 yose bagikora imibonano, cyangwa se bakaba banamara ijoro ryose, ngo kubera ko bidakunda gushoboka nibyo bituma havuka kutanyurwa muri icyo gikorwa, bitewe n’ibyo bintu abantu baba barishyizemo. Mu kugerageza kugarura abantu ku murongo no kuberaka ukuri aho kuri kugirango ibyo bibazo bigabanyuke, niyo mpamvu abo bashakashatsi bakoze ubu bushakshatsi, berekana rero iyi minota ishyize mu gaciro nibura iki gikorwa cyakagombye kumara.
Rimwe na rimwe ngo uzasanga hari abagabo bafite ibibazo byo kutabasha gukora imibonano kandi mbere barabibashaga, bitewe gusa n’uko bishyizemo ko bakagombye gukora imibonano igihe kirekire nk’abandi, ariko bakanga bikabananira, ya minota 30 cyangwa se rya joro ryose ntibarigereho, maze bagacika integer, bikabaviramo ibibazo.
Niba rero nawe wajyaga uhangayikishwa ko umugore wawe umukorera igihe gitoya, ukaba ufite ubwoba ko yazajya kwipfubuza, reka nkubwire ngo ibyo bitekerezo bibi bihagarike nawe wiyemere nk’abandi bagabo, hato bitazavaho bikuviramo uburwayo bundi bukomeye. Nawe mugore rero niba utishimaga kubera ko wahangayikishwaga n’uko umugabo wawe agukorera iminota mikeya, uvuga uti itanu gusa, reka nkubwire ngo irahagije kugirango mwishime igihe mwabishyizeho umutima. Bitabaye ibyo, ibyo bitekerezo bibi bizaguatwara umutwe hanyuma bituma udashyira ubwenge kuri cya gikorwa bityo umugabo wawe abashe kukugerera aho wifuzaga andi mu gihe gito nta kibazo. Nitureke kwibeshya rero.

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