Bang Media

Shakisha kuri Ino Site

Inama utari uzi ku mibonano mpuzabitsina

Ese nshobora kongera ubunini bw'igitsina cyanjye-ku bagabo

Ubusanzwe igitsina cy’umuhungu ni urugingo rw’umubiri rukura nk’uko

izindi zikura. Iyo umuntu akura, ibiganza birakura, ibirenge bigakura,

ukaba muremure, n’ibindi.
Gukura
kw’igitsina cy’umuhungu bibaho vuba vuba mu gihe cy’ubugimbi (ku
bahungu, ubugimbi butangira hagati y’imyaka 10 na 14)....
 

Soma Inkuru Yose ...

Menya byimazeyo ibyo gukuna guca imyeyo

 
Guca imyeyo cyangwa se gukuna, ni umuco washinze imizi mu Rwanda kugeza n’aho umukobwa washyingirwaga atarabikoze yasendwaga n’umugabo ku mugaragaro.
Abanyarwanda bemeraga ko gukuna bituma abashakanye baryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, mu gihe utarabikoze atashoboraga gushimisha umugabo we.
Iyi myemerere n’ubu iracyahari mu Rwanda rw’ubu, n’ubwo iby’umuco bigenda bivangirwa n’iterambere.
Abantu benshi cyane cyane abakiri bato, bibaza niba ibivugwa ku muco wo gukuna ari byo, niba bikenewe koko, cyangwa se niba ari cyo gicumbi cy’ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.
Ikinyamakuru Izuba Rirashe cyaganiriye na Dr Patana Balisanze, impuguke mu buvuzi bw’indwara zo mu mutwe n’izo mu myitwarire n’imitekerereze (psychiatrie et psychotherapie), akaba n’impuguke mu buganga bujyanye n’ibitsina (Sexuologie Clinique), maze atangaza byinshi ku muco wo gukuna.
Umunyamakuru: Guca imyeyo, ubwabyo ni ugukora iki?
Guca imyeyo ni ugukurura les petites lèvres z’umwanya ndangagitsina w’abagore (imishino). Bamwe bakoresha amavuta y’inka abandi bagakoresha andi mavuta ariko bavanzemo ubundi bwoko bw’ibyatsi n’ibimera nk’intobo n’ibindi.
Umunyamakuru: Ese koko ni byo ko guca imyeyo byongera ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ku mpande zombi?
Nta bushakashatsi bwimbitse bwakozwe mu Rwanda ku bijyanye n’ibyishimo byaturuka ku kuba umugore yaraciye imyeyo, bitagirwa n’utarayiciye.
Umushakashatsi witwa Michela Fusaschi yaganiriye n’Abanyarwandakazi b’ingeri zitandukanye ku gukuna, abamuhaye ubuhamya biganjemo abaciye imyeyo barabihamya ariko nta bisobanuro bifatika biri scientifiques bishobora kubihamya.
Umunyamakuru: Bivugwa ko guca imyeyo bituma umukobwa cyangwa se umugore agira ububobere n’amazi menshi, mu by’ukuri ni cyo kibitera?
Ntago ari byo. Mu bihugu bitagira umuco wo guca imyeyo, abagore baho na bo bagira ubwo bubobere n’amazi kimwe n’abo mu bihugu bigifite uwo muco. Guca imyeyo n’ububobere ni ibintu bibiri bitandukanye.
Umunyamakuru: Muri rusange, ni iki gitera ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina?
Ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina bituruka ku bintu byinshi bitandukanye. Bimwe muri byo ni ubwumvikane, ukubahana, kumenyana no kumenyerana kw’abagirana imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Ubuzima bwiza bw’umubiri n’ubwo mu mutwe igihe cy’imibonano, igihe ikorewemo, aho ikorewe n’uko ikozwe n’ibindi byinshi umuntu atarondora na byo bigira uruhare mu gutuma imibonano mpuzabitsina izana ibyishimo bike cyangwa byinshi.
Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya ko mu bijyanye n’ibyishimo mu mibonano mpuzabitsina nta kigero cy’ikitegererezo ku bantu bose igihe cyose.
Imibonano mpuzabitsina ntabwo ari ikintu kiri gusa mecanique (gisaba imbaraga) cyangwa se physiologique (kijyanye n’imitekerereze n’imyitwarire) ahubwo ni na émotionnel (kigendera ku marangamutima). Ibyo byose bikoranye ni byo byagena ibyishimo umuntu yakuramo.
Umunyamakuru: Mbese birashoboka ko umukobwa utaraciye imyeyo yaryoherwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, akanashimisha uwo bari kumwe?
Birashoboka cyane kuko nk’uko nabivuze haruguru, kuryoherwa ntibishingiye gusa ku kintu kimwe.
Birumvikana ko iyo ari ikintu wemera (croyance) kandi wibanzeho, ni cyo gifata umwanya munini mu byishimo ushobora gukuramo.
Umunyamakuru: Umuco wo guca imyeyo ni uwo mu Rwanda gusa, cyangwa hari ahandi uboneka?
Ni umuco uvugwa cyane mu Rwanda ariko si umwihariko w’Abanyarwanda kuko no muri Congo, Burundi, Tanzaniya, Uganda, Zimbabwe urahavugwa. Wamye uhabwa agaciro cyane mu bihe bya kera ariko ubu ugenda ucika.
Mu bihugu by’i Burayi ntaho nawumvise no mu byo bigisha muri sexologie ntawo numvisemo mu buryo bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bwaho.
Umunyamakuru: Nk’umuntu ufite ubumenyi buhagije mu bijyanye n’imikoreshereze y’igitsina, ubona umuco wo guca imyeyo waba ugikenewe mu Rwanda rw’ubu?
Sinzi niba umuntu yavuga ko kera uwo muco wari ukenewe ariko bigaragara ko wahabwaga agaciro icyo gihe.
N’ubu bivugwa ko ugikorwa na bamwe mu bakobwa. Byose biterwa n’imyemerere y’ubikora n’inyungu yumva abikuramo. Ubushakashatsi bwimbitse ni bwo bwatuma iki kibazo gihabwa igisubizo kitarimo amarangamutima.


Dr Balisanze avuga ko ubushakashatsi yakoze ku kwikinisha ku kibazo cyabazaga niba hari ibindi bijyanye n’ibitsina, imikoreshereze y’imyanya ndangagitsina n’imikundanire mu Banyarwanda byifuzwa gukorwaho ubushakashatsi, ngo 2/10 mu basubije bavuze ko bakeneye kumenya byinshi ku gukuna.
Nk’uko bigaragara mu nyigo yiswe Plaisirs croisés: gukuna-kunyaza, Missions, corps et sexualités dans le Rwanda contemporain Michela Fusaschi, ngo gukuna ni ijambo riganisha ku busobanuro bwo kwambara, gufata neza umubiri.
Mu Rwanda rwa kera aho abagore n’abakobwa batambaraga imyenda y’imbere, gukurura imyanya y’imbere (imishino) ngo byahishaga ubwambure.
Nk’uko abigaragaza mu nyigo ye, Michela avuga ko Abanyarwanda bahuzaga gukuna n’imyubakire y’urugo.
Byari itegeko ko umukobwa ugeze mu gihe cyo gushaka umugabo aba yarakunnye kugira ngo azamushimishe. Iyo yabaga atarabikoze, yarasenyaga kandi cyabaga ari igisebo ku muryango.
Gukuna byahabwaga agaciro karenze ibijyanye n’imibanire, bikinjira no mu myemerere. Abanyarwanda bemeraga ko kudakuna, cyangwa se kubikora nabi bituma ubutaka butera, cyangwa se bigakurura ibyago, nk’uko bigaragazwa na Michela.
Na ho umugabo we ngo yabaga yaravutse yambaye, ntacyo yabaga akeneye gukora kindi. Ngo ibi bigaragaza uburyo umugore yahoze akandamizwa n’umugabo mu Rwanda.
Mu gihe cy’ubukoloni, kiliziya gatulika yatangiye guca umuco wo gukuna, itangaza ko ari ukwikinisha.
Ubundi gukuna byakorwaga bite?
Ubundi gukuna muri rusange ngo byatangiraga umukobwa atarajya mu mihango, bigakomeza no mu bwangavu.
Mu Rwanda rwo hambere, nyirasenge w’umukobwa ni we wabaga afite inshingano zo kumwigisha ibijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina n’urugo, kurusha nyina.
Ni na we wamwigishaga gukuna, akamubwira icyo bimara, akanamushyiraho igitsure amubwira ko natabikora atazashaka umugabo ngo bishoboke.
Gukuna byakorwaga igihe abakobwa bagiye kuvoma, gutashya, cyangwa se gushaka imyeyo yo gukubuza, ari na ho havuye “Guca imyeyo.”
Abakobwa kandi babikoreraga ahantu habaga harateguriwe kubohera imisambi n’ibirago “Mu rubohero”, umwuga ukorwa n’ab’igitsina gore gusa mu Rwanda.
Iyo bageraga mu rubohero, bicagamo amatsinda ya babiri babiri, maze buri wese agakururira undi.
Nk’uko ababikoze babitangamo ubuhamya, ngo iyo umuntu agitangira guca imyeyo birababaza cyane, ariko ubwo buribwe bukagabanuka uko imyeyo iba miremire.
Kuri ubu guca imyeyo ntibigifite ingufu cyane kubera ubukoloni, kiliziya, tutiyibagije no kutagira imiryango kwa benshi mu bakobwa kubera amateka mabi yaranze u Rwanda.

Source: Izuba Rirashe
Soma Inkuru Yose ...

Dativa Mukamana afasha abagore n'abakobwa gukuna-guca imyeyo

Mukamana Dative ni umugore uzwi ku izina rya Masenge, akaba yararyiswe kubera akamaro afitiye abakobwa n’abagore batageze mu rubohero (Gukuna), nyuma bashimishe abagabo babo.
Aganira na Bwiza.com, uyu mugore yavuze ko uruhande rumwe ari umuganga urundi akaba umujyanama w’abakobwa n’abagore ku byerekeye imibanire y’abashakanye.
Aha, avuga ko ari muganga gakondo, uvura indwara nyinshi, ariko cyane cyane akaba yibanda ku bijyanye n’ubujyanama ku gitsinagore, uburyo bashimisha abo bashakanye hagendewe ku muco.
Ati: “Murabizi na kera Nyirasenge w’umuntu yabaga ari umuntu ukomeye, abakobwa baraza bakansanga, bati Masenge tubwire, ibyo bintu bita kujya mu rubohero (Gukuna cga guca imyeyo) ni ibiki?, muri iyi minsi abana nta kintu babiziho”.
Akomeza avuga ko hari abamugeraho akabigisha uko bakuna, akabigisha umuco w’uko washimisha umugabo dore ko ubu abana bamwe usanga nta n’ababyeyi cyangwa imiryango bagira.
Avuga kandi ko nyuma yo kubigisha bakagera aho bishimishije, bamwe basubira inyuma bakaza kumushimira ko ingo zabo zubatswe neza, bazi kunezeza abo bashakanye.
Mu gihe hari abibaza bati, ese umugore wabyaye yaca imyeyo bigakunda? Kuri iki, Masenge avuga ko ari ibintu bishoboka cyane.
Ati: “cyane, hari ukuntu umukobwa agira gutya agashaka atarigeze agera mu rubohero, akenshi bangeraho ku bw’ingaruka baba barahuye nazo mu ngo zabo, hari igihe aba yarashatse, umugabo ubikunda, wenda akamubaza ati kuki wowe utameze nk’abandi?.
Hari igihe we aba yarabipingaga yumva ko ntacyo bivuze cyangwa se atarigeze abona ayo mahirwe yo kubyigishwa, yagera mu rwe agahora mu nduru n’umugabo abimuziza, icyo gihe bangeraho nkabashyira mu rubohero”.

Akomeza avuga ko hari n’abagabo bamugeraho bamubwira uburyo abagore babo bataciye imyeyo, bikaba ngombwa ko abahuza, akamuzanira umugore we nawe akamufasha kuyica.
Ubundi ngo gukuna byakagombye gutangira gukorwa ku myaka 10 cga 12, ariko iyo ageze igihe arenza akagera kuri 20 cyangwa 30, ati: ”wenda yarabyaye bisabako,…buriya iyo akiri mutoya umubiri we uba woroshye, urakurura bikaza, ariko ku muntu mukuru we hifashishwa imiti yabugenewe kandi iyo miti nta ngaruka igira, iba itunganyijwe neza”.
Akomeza avuga ko adapfa gukorera ibi aho abonye hose, ko ku ivuriro akoreramo afite icyumba cyabugenewe, ndetse n’igitanda, by’umwihariko ko hari abaza akabaha imiti bazajya bifashisha bakuna mu gihe babyishoboreye, utabibashije akajya afata iminsi akaza akabimukorera kuzageza ku rugero rushimishije.
Ati: “mfite igipimo nkoresha, iyo mbonye yagwije ndamusezerera, iyo bibaye birebire cyane cga bigufi ntabwo aba ari byiza, hari urugero ntarengwa”.
Avuga ko hari imiti ya Kinyarwanda bakoresha irimo amavuta y’inka, ko nka bakera bifashishaga intobo, ariko ku bwe avuga ko atari nziza ko zatera ubundi burwayi.
Ese Gukuna ni iki? Bikorwa gute?
Gukuna, cyangwa se Guca imyeyo nk’uko bamwe babyita ni umuhango wa gikobwa ukorwa mu muco nyarwanda no mu bindi bihugu bya Afurika ugamije gutegura umukobwa kuba umugore ubereye umugabo, utangira umukobwa ari umwangavu kuko umubiri uba utarakomera rimwe na rimwe atarajya mu mihango ya gikobw, Gusa ku bwa Masenge anavuga ko ku bagore babyaye abafasha bigashoboka.
Bikorwa gute?
Wicaza ikibuno hasi, ugashinga ibirenge ku buryo amavi ashobora kugera ku ntugu zombi, ukanyuza amaboko munsi y’ibibero ufite uruvange rw’ibyo ukunisha cyangwa se amavuta y’inka akuze (iyo ari intangiriro), ukuboko kumwe gukurura umushino biteganye.
Kaba kakiri gato noneho kakagenda gakura uko uhataho ukuna, ukururira rimwe ujyana hasi, mu ntangiriro birababaza ndetse rimwe na rimwe ukumva wabireka, ari nayo mpamvu abakobwa ba kera bakuniraga hamwe barenze umwe kugirango batizanye umurindi. Iyo umaze kugira umushino ufatika, ugeraho ugakuna utazura umushino mu bugari bwawo kugirango biwugire mugari, kugeza ugwije” imyugariro”
Masenge avuga ko nubwo hari bamwe afasha gukurura iyi mishino kugeza ku rugero runaka, anavuga ko hari abishyira hamwe bakamutumira kugirango bamarane isoni, akabigishiriza hamwe kandi bakazagera ku ntego.

Akamaro ko gukuna mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro ni akahe?
Nk’uko mu ntangiroro twabikomojeho gato, umugore utarigeze akuna ashobora guhura n’imbogamizi z’uko yasanga umugabo we abikunda, iyo wakunnye biba akarusho kuko umugore wakunnye areta vuba kandi akihuta mu kunyara no mu gusohora, ndetse bifasha umugabo we, akumva ko atarimo kuruhira ubusa, biramunezeza cyane iyo baharuranye ikivi batangiranye (bakarangiriza rimwe).
Umugore utarakunnye ntibivuze ko ari uwo gusendwa, kuko hari n’abadakora ibi byose kandi bagashimisha abagabo babo ariko n’ubwo bwose amajyambere agenda yihuta umugore wakunnye uzi n’ibyiza byabyo mu kunezeza umugabo we nawe aba yifuza ko umwana we abikora.
Kubera ko uyu muhango wa gikobwa wakorerwaga mu gasozi, nko mu gashyamba, abakobwa bitwazaga kujya “guca imyeyo” ari naho havuye iyo mvugo yo guca imyeyo, bakitwaza kujya guca ubwatsi, gutashya inkwi, kujya mu rubohero,…
Ubaye hari icyo ushaka kubaza Mukamana Dative (Masenge) bariza kuri iyi Email:kamikazigentille08@gmail.com cyangwa se ubarize kuri 0785058200! Murakoze.
Soma Inkuru Yose ...